Tag Archives: parenting

Flash Mob Karate!

Flash Mob Karate Techniques!

I love the idea of getting caught in a flash mob and having to use Karate.
A flash mob is basically a bunch of people who decide, apparently spur of the moment, that everything in the store is free. So fifty kids all start grabbing stuff and run out the door.

flash mob karate

Do you think Bruce Lee would have stood for Flash Mobs?



Now, the kids need a spanking. That is obvious. But how do you administer one without getting caught?

Well, when the kid runs by, holding a bunch of candy in his gluttonous arms, you stick out a foot and trip him. With all the commotion, and the cameras generally being up high, there is little chance that your foot will be seen.

Then, you act like somebody tripped you, and you fall on him. And make sure you do a breakfall, with your elbow point. Okay, maybe that is a little vicious. But you could breakfall with the forearm and give him an extra strength headache.

Mind you, I am not talking permanent damage.

THere is something I want you to think about, however. These kids are breaking the law, and if a few of them show up at school with their nose all bent, or two puffed and shut eyeballs, they are going to think twice.

What, we’re supposed to wait for the police?

Look, at the first sign of cops the kids all drop everything and say they didn’t do anything. The cops don’t want to bother with the arrest, the parents are at the station house screaming, and the merchant ends up going out of business.

So don’t beat somebody up, don’t commit a crime, just let your feet get accidentally tangled, and then make sure you breakfall when you hit the ground. Oops. Sorry, sonny. I’ll watch out better next time I fall down on a thief.

Remember, don’t deliberately hurt anybody, you don’t want to become the criminal. But, a little flash mob karate at the right time and place and you’ll be doing the world a favor.