Kung Fu School…and Learning How to Fart!
I began to understand that having gone to a Kung Fu School, I was not the same as other people. I don’t think I realized how much martial arts had made me unique until the day I ran a social experiment where I had a Kung Fu student deliberately fart on people’s food. Just so you know, no food was actually harmed in the conducting of this social experiment…grin.
I knew I wasn’t the same as other people because I don’t follow the rules of society. I was always being in trouble, always said the wrong thing, and always being the only person having a good time. The truth is that breaking the rules and having a good time are two sides of the same coin.
And, I noticed that people around me were getting older, especially in the way they behaved. They started thinking that politicians and other fools and liars were important, and they grew frown lines on their faces. Me, I just kept studying and training and having a good time in Kung Fu and other martial arts.
One day I bought this fart machine on the internet. You click a button and it makes the wonderful sound of a ‘spider barking,’ or whatever you want to call the nether sound, and most people are easily fooled. Then I had one of my Kung Fu students slide it in his rear pocket, and had him back up to a table at a nearby cafe.
I expected to have to save him when somebody got enraged over his behavior, but I was wrong. It was a sidewalk cafe, people eating along the walk, and he would back his fanny right over the table, and click the button. People stopped conversing, looked down at their tea and toast, and kept right on munching.
I was in shock, farts are actually airborne fecal matter, and every person we did this to just looked down and kept eating. I would have gotten loud and violent if anybody ever tried that on me. So why wasn’t anybody getting outraged?
I would have gotten angry because I learned Kung Fu, and I am trained to stand up to fools who act like that. Simply, I am not afraid of some durned idiot who lets out a puffer. And all those people whose ham and taters we were farting over had not learned martial arts.
The people of this great nation, you see, have gone to school, watched too many soap operas and sitcoms, and had the gumption socially acclimated right out of them. Political correctness has now taken the place of the desire to survive, and people just sit around and be victims…they are afraid to stand up and say: get out of here and don’t you ever pull that stuff again! So go ahead and continue the way you are going, encourage your kids to go to school and learn how to be good repubs or demos, don’t go to a Kung Fu school or take a martial art like Kenpo or Taekwondo or something, and the next time you sit down and hear a strange sound blowing out the back of somebodys shorts…just look down and keep eating.
Toss out political correctness, click to Monster Martial Arts, learn real Kung Fu from a real kung fu school…right off the net…and start undoing what has been done to you.